February 25, 2007

courage pretense fear LOVE

how does it feel when someone says, 'i'll surely say yes if another girl comes along and ask me to be her date...' and deep inside you were screaming shouting hoping he can hear you...
i did hint once on MSN but all he says was.' aww darlin...your so cute! i almost thought its not a joke!' but i wasnt joking until i chicken out and told him it was long ago during the primary school years when we were sitting next to each other...
how can life be so oxymoron?! i was just telling saying how we were sitting next to each other... during primary school years... i just didnt say that i really did felt something for him, the first time i cried so hard when he was dumped by the then girlfriend, the first time i realise that to love someone is to be happy when hes happy even if you are not with him...
i was never with anyone at all until now... but i've went through quite a couple of relationships, only one sided and left them drained helpless and worst of all hopeless... like a soldier crawling home badly injured from a fight that he's never part of.

courage comes differently for me. clemence liked to say this 'once bitten twice shy'. i didnt agree with him... i thought its a stupid excuse... now i know its the fear of getting bitten, the pain and scar that the bite takes and leaves behind... its the aftermath i fear thats why i choose to keep mum and keep my front and smile.
its saddening heartbreaking heartwrenching (what else...) when of all days, 2 of my favourite come to me and prove yet again to my angel that hope isnt the only thing and congratulate my devil that the harsh reality is there to stay for sure. for goodness sake! its the birthday of all humans! 人日!新年初七!不要这样对我 leh!...

i know somewhere deep in me that i'll always feel something for them no matter how hard time tries in vain to help me dilute the memories i hold dear until now... ahwell... too bad for me and good luck to my favourities.... i'll cherish the happiness knowing that both of you are happy...

thats good enough for me.

February 23, 2007


想一想。。。 其实荷叶上的水珠迟早会掉回池塘里,何必因为一时稍微处在高一点的位置,而产生一时的幻觉。。。因为到最后,还是会滑落池里。。。回到原点。。。





February 04, 2007

Au revoir mon amis... 一路好走。。。

i was speechless when i heard the passing of this actress.
許瑋倫 passed away unable to recover from an accident during one of her many trips between cities racing against time. its not uncommon for celebrities to be on the rush between gigs and appeareances but its really sad when things like this happen. and of all to someone so young and beautiful. when i say beautiful i dont mean just another pretty face. i mean the whole package. its not that i dont want to list down but i think i've found a blog like website which i believe has the details in english for you.
http://yummycelebrities.com/2005/09/14/xu-wei-lun take a look if you are interested.
its not often that i mention celebrities on my blog anyway... but at least for me, its a way to express my feelings for the lost of someone i admired. at least i know i saw her a long time ago on TV when she just started...

her official site:
her blog: