September 27, 2005

lets talk about relationship...

lets talk about relationship this time and skip me for a while...

well geri i just want to put this at the very beginning....
actually i know abt the man you love thingy from a long time ago... c'mon lar im very sensitive at that point of time and well its just the female's instinct lar~
anyway thanks for keeping by my side during that period cos know it must have hurt like hell for you during that time to console me and all... but im over it liao. perfectly cured.
but now that everythings in the clear~ just go for your happiness! no one not even me should stop you from that!
p/s: yes, i agree with you that there is nothing like selfless love...
but there is definitely something close to that... trust me, im feeling it everyday now...

pig and wolf, i hope things go well for you in the end... no matter the outcome.
friends are friends afterall and well i dont want to see both of you emerge battered and torn.
take things slow, think and talk. remember, listen more and try to understand...
both of you are at a diff level of mentality with regards to maturity. you get the hint, i believe.
jia you jia you! i cant help you start that fire again but i can find the wood for you right?
relax, breath and enjoy the process... thats whats important aint it...
seriously hope you read this entry...

within this month alone i saw another possible breakup but this time it involves a pregnant young lady and her fiancee... its like a mixture of money problem, jealousy of a male chauvanist and a young girl wanting to enjoy all the wild and fun stuffs around her and not settling down totally... i just like tore apart before me and well i lost contact halfway.... but i hope you guys are doing fine now... wherever you are siti...

seriously, is there something wrong in the air cos two extremes revolve round me this month... people getting married and people breaking up... seriously
its making me feel guilty for enjoying life as a god-dammed (excuse me) single...
shit this must really be it cos i just cut myself the second time today really badly...

as for me, i have this love and hate relationship with books.
yes i like studying but i hate it at the same time... funny right?
the feeling of bliss when your brain sucks in all that knowledge is like being really deeply in love.
meals dont even matter as much already! not even the world that i turn along with to the spin of the Earth! yea im trying and learning to appreciate books.
im trying to love it more than hate it now because i really want this relationship to become a positive one and continue this miraculous phenomenon between me and darling booklings.
may we go hand in hand all the way...
yadda, yadda, yadda...

yea, yea, you get the picture...

September 23, 2005

slowing down too much & i don't like it..?


im starting school next week and well its rather scary.
scary in the sense that i have to wake up earlier than i would like to, i have to study and mug harder than i have ever did and well i was thinking if i did make it to NUS somewhere in the middle, that would please them but then i'll just take a step at a time for now...
there's french and there's japanese which i would really like to continue but looking at how things are at the moment, i might have to drop them next year when my lessons are conduct in the evenings which is something i realy dislike about the system over there... sigh...
just when i'm starting to be a little better during lessons, i have to drop them...

and well i still have like 10 lessons more for my swimming instructor attachment and i have a feeling its not going well at all.... anyway i'll just take a step at a time for now...

and.... oh yea i started on the cosplay costume, after much delay, and well it seems to be in need of an inner lining cos the white is just not thick enough to look well yea, white. havent sew it yet... maybe im going to ask geri if i can borrow her sewing machine someday... in the meantime, i think i'll just go get more cloth and finish my cutting up until then.

and... i have to like stop tutoring my cousins unless until i can find a time to teach her. the older of the tutee changed it to saturday morning and well... we'll see how it goes tomorrow... actually i think she's okay so far cos she's doing pretty well really! i feel kinda bad taking her money...

and... im not working this weekend and yes! im free!! but as usual most of them are not free when i am as usual haha~ well i'll just see how things go and take a step at a time~ i think i repeated this like 6 times already.. haha!

things seem to be slowing down a little too much and i dont really like it... have to find something to bustle about later.... or maybe im just moving too slow. so slow that i the sloth or snail cant take it too! hmm... how about i go do something about the way i look and try for STARDOM?! who knows?!

AHhhhhh....... headache.

September 20, 2005

extra weight-gained..............Priceless

Waseda Shibuya Senior High School.

thats the school that i went to on Sunday after getting the drift from geri that there's gonna be a school festival we met for breakfast at the serangoon mac and went to clementi via taxi cos shes limping from the swollen ankles and one bad knee...she help me do my makeup at the mac there and we were off to the MRT station to meet her peers who will be joining us.
there were a few stuffs that were very good over there, the haunted house was really nice, the tea ceremony's an eye opener and well the food was remarkable especially when they were done by the students. the okinawa food and the
pizza! and to make students really green with envy, all their classrooms are airconditioned! my goodness ecery single japanese school i went to have airconditioned classrooms, but this one has a cafeteria thats cool too! really cool! but you can really see the effort all the students put into their festival! the game stations are really nice! but they are really brave to volunteer their hands for the games, i saw cuts and bruises on their hands! poor things. xk's cousins are nice! much much nicer than him! really! but their screams in the haunted house's really commendable man! even the zombie got afraid!

hmm.... now what else do i have.....?

maybe another recommendation: Princess Mononoke
some earthy spiritual and ancient story.
i like the graphic and the way the spirits of the earth's potrayed until the scary part...
maybe you'll like it too~

hmm.... mid-autumn festival was cool besides the food and that particular company apart from the rest of my family and the food cooked by them! its the moon.
the moon was yellow when its rising from where we were enjoying our
dinner. the sky was cloudless and well the trees in the distance just made it picture perfect if only i own a camera.....
its breezy, dark and well the skys clear and shiny... the way i like it!

dinner............................................... S$60.00++
mooncake........................................... S$58.90
tea ..................................................S$12.60

extra weight-gained...............................Priceless


September 13, 2005

i forgot what the title should be....

there is a bug buzzing all over.

nope its not the mosquito. but something far much more evolved than the mosquito.
its the 'I-dont-feel-like-logging-on' bug.
yes its been certified that i've got this disease and its quite troubling cos i do have short-term memory to say the least.
most of the time i forgot what is it that i wanted to put onto my blog say yesterday or just a mere 4 days ago.
something exciting.... something significant or pure lame?? nah cant remember....

anyway i finally log on and decided to do something like update this blog that has been nudging at the corner of my temples the past days.
so as i walked home from the increasingly huhs-&-errs.... french lesson, i ponder on what is it that i wanted to put down on my blog finally after forgetting it for more than a month maybe.
so i went after a toad at the void deck chasing after it back to the grass where its much safer, no, this is not what i wanted to put in lar~
oh yea it helped me remember something that happen when that wretched guy didnt want me.
joking lar~haha but then something magical happened.
my luck changed like *snap finger*
seriously, i went for the liquid nitro thingy and the nurse said im doing really fine and at a remarkable fast rate too, after which i decided to go window shopping at Novena Square which i never went to after any treatment so far. and i had that chance to shop for a dictionary for french at the MPH there and after that got a shoe (finally) for myself! yippee!!! but damn im a size 42 going to 43! (T.T) but apart from all that, i found $5 dollars in front of a really busy bus-stop. i actually stared at this lady staring at me pondering if i should pick it up. i picked it up and donated it anyway much to the dispair of that lady... (^.^)

so much for a guy afterall! its all worth it man! MAN!

im not trying to point out that that guy is a toad but its the cousin of a frog isnt it?!
after which i went on to munch on the honey stars that i bought from a petrol kiosk before the toad incident. then i realise..... i forgot what i realise..... nevermind i shall return after dinner and hopefully remember what it is! till then~

yum! oh yea the stars. i sent off a friend to england for her further studies. shes 3 hours away from where i might be going in 2 years time... sigh... well i bought a doggy and a four-leaves for good luck for her from mini-toons and well glad that she liked the doggy! anyway i met her at the airport after playing at the airport for around 3 hours alone except for the 1 hour dinner at the sakae sushi there wif my parents and siblings. it was fun actually~ i dont mind going there for outings or just to enjoy my sole company. she bought me chocolates~ her eyes went red when she gave them to me.... aww and i wanted to cry..... but i told her and myself that its not an occasion for tears but joy that she return triumph! okay a little overboard with that vocab but thats about it lar~ i bought a new bag there, 2 books: one on happiness and the other on chinese old superstitions, a black book and silver pen for penning stuffs down from TimesNewsLink. a cat pillow for my sister and brownie plus chilled coffee at the Caffe Ritazza which she recommended. took my fav skytrain and well basically enjoyed myself with that joy and fun i havent had in a long long time~ where did that feeling went?! but ah alas we have to leave each other and i realy hope shes fine there~ maybe i shall save enough to go visit sometime.

okay thats about it for now i think, if i remember and have that mental push to log on, then update i shall~

may the force be with you!

September 08, 2005

relm of escape

its been sometime since i updated.... yea its been a while
well i've been taking time off everything basically.... hiding for a while.

after that so called rejection, i was hit by a wave of self pity and blah blah that i sort of lose my train of thought and the usual me.
i became a little off in everyway you could ever think off.
i didnt feel like working cos couples keep turning up before me and i have to SMILE at them!*frowns*
and of all things i have to meet someone special whom i've told Ruth about. geez! why do things have to turn out like this?! anyway he did brighten up my day and yes i did come back to real life after hiding myself in me relm of gloom. although its embarrassing to let him find me dreaming into space everytime he pass by where i am haha.... and NO im not slacking on the job if you happen to be reading this! =P
but DAMN man i should have stayed and waited for him to knock off so that i can have my 'dinner' with him! sobz! *knock me head against the wall furiously*
yea its been like almost a week liao but im still caught up with thoughts of being with him.
you dont meet MANs out there who you can talk and walk along without glitches. its just that nice nice feeling that you cant find with someone else other than him... aww...

having gotten over that that friday night after meeting him*, i went off to perform with SPFband at esplanade concert hall on saturday for their 80th Anniversary. Congratulations!
its nice and well i did enjoy it.

theres so much to update and well i've forgotten about most of them already! oops...

you know, ive been surfing the web trying to find pictures but some how i cant find anything that suits my taste at the moment until i stumble over this pic. sweet hor haha!
anyway i just want tp leave a imprint of what shows ive seen and adored so far... funny how they seem to be lovey dovey stories... haiz....
well im trying my best to finish Inuyasha so that i can return them to my friend soon.
i watched Kiddy Grade before that but didnt liked it as much as Inuyasha.
before Inuyasha was Kenshin. but dunno why its not lovey enough haha!
for shows i has to be the Winter Sonata. No other show has beaten it off the placing yet.
and at the moment im waiting for the arrival of April Snow a movie and im really hoping that i would get to watch it with someone special lar! well thats a hopefully anyway... sigh....