October 27, 2005

Anonymous said...

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over u.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
U can only go as far as u push.
Actions speak louder than words.
De hardest thing to do is watch de one u love, love someone else.
Don't let de past hold u back, u're missing de good stuff.
Life's short. If u don't look around once in a while, u might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
Some pple make de world special juz by being in it.
When it hurts to look back, and u can look beside u and ur best friend 'll be dere.
True friendships "never" ends.
Friends r forever.
Good friends r like stars.
U don't alwayz see 'em, but u know they're alwayz dere.
Don't frown. U never know who's falling in love with ur smile.
Wat do u do when de only person u can make u stop crying is de person who made u cry?
Nobody is perfect until u fall in love with 'em.
Everything is ok in de end.
If it's not ok, den it's not de end.
Most pple walk in and out of ur life, but only friends leave footprints in ur heart.
May today dere be peace within u.
May u trust God that u're exactly where u're meant to be. "
how true~ thank you for this darling.
(you forgot to leave a name)
i'll keep these words in mind and remind myself of them.
i want to be the star and those footprints.
i wont forget nor will i stop collecting memories.
im lucky to have all the four leaf clover i can find and keep them with me.
yes i will cherish them.
smile? no i'll smile broadly and laugh out loud!
you've made me cry.
not from saddness but from seeing the sun shine behind the clouds.
i am touched.
yes nobodys perfect so i'll love all the imperfection as much as their perfection.
i'll strive for happiness and grab all the good stuffs around me.
thank you for giving me peace and may i hold onto it forever~
thank you for giving me my calm again.

October 23, 2005

i never learn that im to be appreciated

i am a fool man!
a damn freakin impossible fool!

why do i still freakin care for anyone like her?! this is freakin confusing and it makes my blood boil to see that people live life if not normal but happier.
lol no lar~ joking one
i mean it makes me feel left out again. that feeling that i get everytime things like that happen.
yea i said time will make it disappear, but then time moving a lil slow in this aspect huh?
Oi time arh, work more efficiently can ornot?! bakka~

just let me retain that grade or position in her life and not even lower cos im already down there after she officially tell me that im junk to her 3 months ago... or was it even earlier??
aiyah! dont care lar ahNgee~

as what everyone out theres saying,why you still care?. hmm... i dont know, maybe im just a freak that likes to be treated like junk by people like her and yet still care like a old granny who never learn that shes not appreciated.
DAMN it man! am i just stupid or what?

dont read this lar~

October 21, 2005

just to lame an excuse

its time to celebrate! finish 3 exams in a row and its time to prepare for the next round in 2 days time. ahwell thats life!
at least i have something to do and celebrate for!

i believe i've become even more mature and realistic after this saga of anime like whirlwind.
at least thats what i think because im not going to miss outings with friends because i have a unhappy past with a someone in that group. thats just to lame an excuse to miss an outing like that. nor am i going to be like "i hate you and i hate you" forever because its simply not efficient and i want to spend every minute of my life properely without interference of meaningless things like that. so long im a good person, thats fine. so long i can face myself without qualms, thats enough.

and that behind, its time to revert and start being the me again!
let the fun and enjoyment begin!
oops... time to mug arh....
i want to transform into a chao(smelly in hokkien) mugger!
mugger power!!

p/s: just to note; i still love cats and rabbits if theres any doubt anywhere. this love for animals of all kinds have nothing to do with any relationship whatsoever. and never will! the animals are innocent for goodness's sake!

time for me to leave.

October 19, 2005


T.T haiz...
i blogged at this time and ended around 15min to 1am
anyway why T.T (cry)?
well its because i realise that there are so many people out there who care.
people whom i thought dont care anymore, people who cared all the time, people who started caring
thanks all of you, MUACK!!!
yes every single one of you~
for supporting this fool!
you know who you are~ (^v^)

sorry, i cried BIG time but then its about time i let it out
after i cry cry liao

then i okay liao haha~

if you havent know by now;
i got memory problem.
i dont remember things like this the next morning!

all that i have to do is sleep.
anyway to all of you;

merci beaucoup!
thank you very much!

October 16, 2005

【你還愛我嗎? (蔡依林)】

你還愛我嗎? (蔡依林)

作詞:胡如虹 作曲:Azlan Abu Hasan 

午夜裡傳來雨的聲音 輕輕撥動心的旋律
情不自禁想起你 那些甜蜜的回憶 總是不小心就淋濕了我的眼睛
愛情需要一些呼吸 偶爾保持一點距離
回到朋友的關係 任你自由的來去 從此想念你只能放在我心裡

你還愛我嗎 一直好想問你這句話 卻又怕 聽到你真實的回答
你還愛我嗎 為何你總是不說話 眼看我為愛不愛掙扎 你愛我嗎

好久沒有你的消息 心裡還惦記著你
在這冷冷的夜裡 感覺那麼的熟悉 好想再見你想聽聽你的聲音

感情的路總讓人好無助 我會學著面對獨處

你還愛我嗎 我一直好想問你這句話 卻又怕 聽到你真實的回答
你還愛我嗎 這是我唯一的牽掛 不管你會有什麼回答
我會一直等你 你還愛我嗎

October 14, 2005

Je suis fatigué

Je suis très fatigué. vraiment.
parce que, j'ai beaucoup d'étudiers.
je n'ai pas assez de sommeil et je suis avec le beaucooup de travail.
ce n'est pas tout. mais je suis désolée. je suis fatigué

c'est le temps pour dormir maintenant

i am tired. really
because i have alot of studying.
i dont have enough time for sleep and i have alot of work to do.
thats not all. but im sorry. im tired.

its time to sleep...

October 09, 2005

the analogy of tissue paper.

i stared at this blank page for like god-knows-how-long and finally typed in this sentence.
me to describe why.

i was really elated to see the mc manager i liked again after so bloody long and it was just wonderful to talk to him and have a little chat and so called contact with him to finally know that he's name is: Christopher.
Tan ...theres raminah too...
did a survey for him. suggested mcmugger meal for the muggers in mac. and got a free chocolate dipped ice-cream come for my sister.although i know that its impossible for me, its nice to see my eye candy again. someone tall, really skinny, cheerful and simply charming. AWWwwww........

i went home in estacy of what happened and then happiness left me...
until i have to go back to the relm of the dark, damp and das.
a relm that i trespass everytime i jump into somebody elses affair. thinking that thats the right thing to do as a friend.

sometimes i wonder if my parents are correct when they say that even if i bother myelf with my friends's stuffs they will never bother themselves with me the way im wasting my time on them. seriously, i always think that they are being selfish trying to protect me this way but somehow some truth in these words shine through the mist from time to time. tonight is one of the nights that the truth's peeking through and making me doubt.

am i the real spare tire when it comes to friends and their down times. its like the analogy of tissue paper.
take and use when you NEED and throw and FORGET when you are done.

Pig did just that.

and i have a feeling this is not the first. ive been dumped like that before anyway...
dumped like garbage after i pull them from the water and forgotten forever.
its even sadder when i've never been in love and yet i've already been dumped so bloody many times i dont even realise it! sad aint it?! haiz...

do i need to explain more...

October 08, 2005

call me a fool...

wise men will call me a fool if they ever get to know of me.

pretending to be wise when im really foolish all over.

i dont even know why im doing things the way i do them now.

i must be either really dumb or utterly impossible because even the wise men are baffled at my stupidity.

i dont even know anything anymore.

i dont even know myself now.

i never consider myself wise anyway.

i wonder why i torture my soul when i know im reaching the breaking limit.

i wonder why i always offer that empty and fake warmth to the hurt.

i wonder why i allow people to hurt me and not react to the pain.

i wonder why i still sit by the roadside and remain the passer by A.

i wonder why i hide in the shadow and linger there until someone needs me.

i wonder why i linger in the dark and pine for the light.

i wonder why i fear yet yearn love because it hurts before it comes.

i wonder why i yearn for love and yet refuse to let it near.

i wonder why i feel tired instead of disappointment, saddness or even angst.

i wonder why i wrote this at this time instead of sleeping.

i wonder why i didnt cancel everything tomorrow to spend the day by the sea.

i wonder why i didnt cry when it should feel better to weep and sob.

i wonder why i didnt say l'amour until its too late.

i wonder why i am forcing myself to put something on my blog.

i wonder why i am playing and being nice when i can be really nasty.

i wonder why i cant think of anything anymore...

i wonder why i...........

October 03, 2005

love is selfish & it doesn't have to be fair to anyone

well its the second week of school and today is officially the day where im gonna miss my social life and sleep. yup 9 to 5 every weekdays plus extra lessons in the evening till 9 plus 10pm.

24 hours really is not enough.

that i finally understand...

assignments are coming in and well it seems that this is only the beginning since today's only the beginning of whatever thats coming towards me at a really freakin fast pace.
3 essays so far, a project work plus presentation and assignment to complete. the dateline for all these is scattered with that latest: 30 oct 2005.
thats the date i'll be looking out for at the moment until the next best date comes by.

it seems that as boring life seems at the moment, its about to become so full of colours, i might want it to stop for the sake of not being reduced to un'ahNgee' after this semester. 3 really biology based lectures plus the usual chem math and phy, i wonder what the hell im doing here at the computer. i've yet to be able to recognise the difference between the connective tissues and now im headed for skeletal tissue. damn this is sad! the rest no complains until the next lecture pops by to say hi.

last week was hectic. yea it was although i feel that is worth it. havent been with my friends as much after we finish school. although what brought us closer wasnt the kindest thing, its was enough to know that someone out there(besides me family) needs me. its heartwarming to know that one of them has already reovered and started anew with the precious second chance.

and to you, yes you know its you, dont apologise to me anymore because i just feel that its not necessary. to put it in a bad way, its already happen and a thing of the past, so just forgo with all the apologising. seriously i dont really care what happen because love itself is selfish and well it dosent have to be fair to anyone. not even if its between you, blah blah and me. yea get it?
friends are important, yes definitely. trust is also important, yea. but it doesnt mean that it should interfere with your personal-life which includes being with the one you love and chosing what is it that you want to acomplish. being friends means to have to be able to be so close that there practically no boundaries but at the same time maintain that personal space so that you are still you!okay? if i can still face you and blah blah with no problems and yet still go to KTV this coming saturday just leave it at that lar okay? dont make me feel any pinch please cos what i had really is enough... i know its hard but then you've always pull yourself together with that mighty will of yours aint it? yea you'll be fine.

hmm... now that i wrote about this, i realise the guy in my dream this morning is actually engene buahahaha~ its cool to find myself sitting next to him again. smiling at each other in class with lots of friends and peers. white dreamy surrounding with white fluffy clouds and nice huge winds the way i like it. cool room. dry climate. nice clean fresh feeling. AAaahhhhhh make me wanna sleep and continue that dream for ever and ever.
i never though i had so many things i wanted to do and so many to complete before dateline.
with all these stuffs to complete, and a dream i want to continue...

24 hours really isnt enough.