October 29, 2006

quality quantity time

the haze has dissipated at least for a while... its good to take a deep breath of air BUT im coughing even worse than ever... how come?? weird but interesting phenomenon.

i had a rather tiring sunday and well its almost over now. i was rather touchy and every little thing anyone did at home that a little out of place would receive that irritated stare from me. i absolutely cannot stand every little thing today and i dont blame PMS cos its not time yet. maybe its just me and my crave for a little time to keep to myself. its been work, school, home and attention on them all besides myself. this sudden relisation of selfness had made me a rather irritable person. i glared at my brother for sticking his eyeballs to the handphone typing away to someone on the other end. and of all people i saw this familiar name that made my blood boil, van. GREAT! and my father had to take that extra step in trying to connect with us today exclaiming at TV shows laughing at scenes that are simply not funny and having this ganchiong attitude of i cannot wait for you, now now now is the time! pisses me off totally when he said all of a sudden, lets go for lunch. i said gimme a minute and he say nevermind he'll eat alone and buy us something back. ou mean you cannot wait for us to change? my mother anti-social today. my sister extra whinny today and i almost slapped myself unconscious.

rather angry arent i? what to do? im like this at home and when things are not going well i am even more uptight and stubborn. at least now i can write that we took a bus and had dinner together, jalan jalan abit after that, walk home together... isnt that life spending quality not quantity time together... time to get some eyeshut before tomorrow comes!

October 25, 2006

wandering thoughts 1

have you ever wondered what happen when you look at your guyfwends and then your galfwends...
what happen not in school sense, fashion sense or anything close to humour and brain matter.

you see them getting on with people within the circle, out of the circle or the other circle in the many of yours.
you are very if not even happier than them for their happiness and romance.

BUT what happens when you get left out? betrayed? forgotten?
frankly i havent gotten over IT and the participants, 1 of them, maybe elated to know for it feeds its ego. the other probably orrible and will start to blame oneself again saying she worthless blah blah.
ANYWAY, its like i always believe in the probability that friends have a high chance of going further than friends someday. TRUTHfully i'd like that to happen at least once to me. in this lifetime anyway. BUT as always, i'll be the last to find out that; they are already taken, they are in the process of taking someone, they are GAY T.T , or more than often im just a coward cos of the way i look which leads to the believe that i belong to the inferior and lower life-forms on Earth.
OKAY, so i have to do something to myself. I have to be responsible for myself, i agree definitely. i am trying. i'm lazy. i focus and hope and live in the dream of the plots of romantic movies... maybe they do come true...


October 22, 2006

sue the hazers!

maybe its the haze maybe its just me but i feel this urge to see my friends before the haze swallow them in its murky gunk.
BUT due to my asthmatic nature that has been coming on and off... i think i'll skip this urge and hibernate.

have you ever felt so inspired and overflowing with ideas to put into your blog and when you finally have the time to act on them, they disappear into the haze.
talk about mental block. this is definitely not a mental block but amental block.
(typical vs atypical?? aiya)
then came this idea. what happens is we sue Indonesia for them physical emotional and medical harm their haze did on our citizens during this period??
my bills for the inhaler's like 30dollars this 3 weeks. when its like 15 per 2 month on average!
okay i may be puffing on it like a madman but what can i do when i wake up in the middle of the night searching frantically for my inhaler... scary wor.
i can DIE from asthma man~ and its not nice when i have to excuse myself to the toliet to puff cos i find myself not breathing properely and its getting heavier to breath liao... paiseh ar my friends.

but think about it.
isnt it the best way to 'scare' Indonesia into taking things into their hands literally
rather than i give you some money and you let me burn the trees.
some of the things that countries like theirs are scared off. money fines power.
think about it guys... how nice to be covered for our medical expenses due to them and get things settled easily... okay for us but not the 'garment' nor the 'loryers'
but MAN im thinking ima thinkin!

October 11, 2006

message to neglected & note to self

A 8 to 6 job in a hospital (everyday except sunday) and a full time degree course with BradfordUniversity isnt good for family and friendly relationships.
they would think that your are being plain irritating by not checking and replying the emails flying all over, and grasping every chance to nap and rest.

think people think. i only have less than 40 hours to myself and im splitting them for hygiene, rest and my personal time. on top of that these 40 hours are for completing my papers and projects. which i have 2 on average to complete every week and time isnt on my side. Please im making an effort already so gimme some slack so that i can breath in these intermitten episodes of asthma in the hazy and challenging atmosphere.

i hardly have time to even update my blog not to say read others and mails only those related to school are sieved out at the fastest speed i can to maximise my time.

im trying im trying... besides we have the holidays coming and i do reply smses dont i ?!
yes SMSes are good and really kind on me. i'll improve my service and efficiency towards you my family and friends. i too need attention like you but theres a limit to wat i can achieve.

peace out

October 08, 2006

Food for Thought

its been a while and i have a load of things to attend to.
wedding singers for the first time and i cant turn up for their practice due to the (@#%$#@ haze thats affecting my rather sensitive respiratory system which starting its routine of sneezes, coughes, asthma and my nose is running non stop....
haiz... school starting soon also and with my condition, im really not in the mood liao...
i pray the winds change direction soon~ so that inocent people dont have to suffer anymore

and talking about suffering, i dont understand why school students are going down one by one...
is it something in the waters or is it some kinda new virus in the schools that sending them one by one into the hospital??
stomach flu? or what?
i a lil nervous now that i usually have my meals in canteens and well its not gonna be pretty if hospital staffs upgrade to the status of in-patient in the hospital as well....
OOooooo.... thats interesting...
Food for thought indeed ha

October 04, 2006


as always, i've put up one of my works of noobiness in the area of photography.
the last and most magnificent fireworks display at the National Stadium on National Day 2006.

October 03, 2006

my debt with the books

announcement or rather a self indulge pleasure and fear to face and conquer.

school is starting and well its a rather late start for a person of my age.
anyway school is starting next week and im rather nervous.
Bsc(Science) Pharmaceutical Sciences from Bradford University.
something that i never thought of actually.

see ive always been splat down and under by my parents on my intellect such that i never thought its possible for me to be pursuing a degree in a university. ever really!
its been the case since primary school where they sang tunes of a gonner and a sore mark in the family since i was never in EM1.
so it is the case where your pride and confidence was rubbed so thin its practically useless.
i took things one step at a time and was lucky to have met teachers along the way who did their magic and got me this far.
although i must say i have failed one of them ms choong and i am doing what i can to make it all up.
for all the teachers and friends along the way. im doing this for me and in the spirit of keeping the cheers alive. please pardon me if i disappear once in a while to settle my debts with the books... it will only take a while!