July 30, 2006

my mental diarrhoea

my mind must be going through some kinda constipation.
its like full of stuffs waiting to just escape the grey cage into the stinky air.
(its the seventh month where people burn lots of 'money' and my body happens to possess a rather weak ventilation system...)
i dont know man~
i mean i feel as if my brain's filled up to the brim with something and i cant get it out. i dont know if its high blood pressure but it sure doesnt feel good and im having problem concentrating and taking things in.
im broke, sleepy and rather listless and lifeless everyday. i dont want to but i just cant find that power plant im me thats supposed to be working.
i dont even have the energy to finish a song during vocal training!
What Is Happening?! Oh No!.........

just last few days ago, the news of human H5N1 virus sent chills down my back.
i was thinking like oh SHIT! im in Singapore which happens to be in the center of the countries(okay most) with deaths confirmed due to H5N1. are we next?!
trust me, Singapore is so small we could just die out.

imagine first human species to die out: Singaporeans

i had lots of thoughts going through like writing a will, or saying I LOVE YOU to my family before H5N1 comes here. i wanted to regurgitate my thoughts here first thing but i went straight to bed instead.
and then its the war thats happening somewhere near us.
the thoughts of people running from missles and crys of mothers over lifeless bodies of their children torn apart from the force of missle impact seemed rather far fetched.
im here grumbling and cusing the morning that came always too soon and people are dying, suffering much worse fate than mine here.
Missles VS Tsunami.
which is worse?
A Tsunami can sink Singapore with just one wave while Missles can flatten us with one simple clean wipe from the face of the uneven Earth.
c'mon~ we are jsut that one little dot you see on the world map and some people thought we are a town somewhere in India or China!

my weekend was good. really good if i compare this week and the rest ive had so far.
besides the horrible runs ive had at studio, the warm up was fun.
National Day was good especially when you have seats at the Grand Stand and my camera was overheated... imagine.
i didnt know i have readers too...this is something interesting...lets see...

July 23, 2006

a happy blog for someone's feedback =P

Someone complained that my blog entries are full of complains.
and so i decided to write something nice and nothing close to complaining and grumbling.
note to self: the week was okay and i think im getting the hang of things.

i cant remember what i wanted to paste as te newest entry in this blog cos whenever i feel good, i'll update the other blog.
*find it yourself: guess lar*

this might be one of the days when i feel obligated to blog something only my brain isnt really working right since dunno when.
this week i actually postpone the recording session at DiscoveryStudios.
Darn i was looking forward to being in the studios everyweek.
its like the time when im doing something i like. to sing to myself and see how can play being that star. cudos to the sound engineer and vocal trainer. i dont know how thet tahan my what-the-**** singing and voice! hehheh paiseh ar~

and i was in such a good mood yesterday, i SMSed Dongli883 funny messages, bought myself that LONG LONG necklace i thought i should own(waste money) and had lots of food at Sakae with the full attendance of all 5 members of me family.
lots of laughter and choking on food. ahh the good'ole days.....

then i felt a tinge, okay maybe a little, okay maybe a little more than little guilty.
i promised that i would lose some weight for the sake of health and probably in the name of a little vainity that i should have since a long time ago(wonder when did i lost this friend...hmm....)
anyways, i havent the time as yet and im working on it okay~ i promised so im gonna do something about it lar. dont worry! hurhur...

oh yea i wanted to blog something on this conversation i had days ago
i was talking to a certain friend of mine the other day about boyfriends and relationships and SEX.
yes SEX as in SEX.
its interesting how people see such things differently when happens on someone or somebody we know or when the main character is ourselves.

for someone whos been on the shelf all my life...
the way i see, relationship problem is one of the things that we cannot kaypo and help solve.
its already a rather sensitive and entangling issue that its safer and wiser to stay out of it.
maybe a someone for them to turn to, speak to, give them tissue blah blah... but always a passerby A in the episode.
thats my take.
my turn hasnt arrive but i would rather keep it to myself and let people live happily without my woes.
Yes boyfriends are the someone whom we would like to be close to besides our family, a someone special someone new someone probably and hopefully forever. but relationship is something thats morphing all the time, so unpredictable that trust and the responsibility of keeping true to the trust entrusted is something i thought natural.
but the truth is given trust, a man would try to cross the grey area once, twice, and all the way when its found safe to do. its human nature and girls and boys will do it once, twice until conscience step in.
i've seen relationships gone very bery sour cos too much trust and betrayal made it so.
but i have seen trust and confident in the trust given make it even sweeter.
and SEX. what about sex.
in this age of modern thinking and life, sex is one of the issues that might be getting a little less important. we can reverse the effect of sex and restore virginity. medical cosmetics can do alot more than you can believe. Looks, Feel and Experience. trust me, i see lots of people who are willing to share the joys of this technologies.
in view of health, its something that i would like to delay for now. dont be mistaken, nobody dust any dust from me still sitting at the highest end of the shelf as yet. im still a swinging single.
its just that i know know that the chances of getting cervical cancer the no. 1 cancer for ladies increases with factors like this: 1. sex at a young age(the younger the higher chances) 2.multiple partners(the more the higher).
with facts like this arent you scared yet?
i cant disagree that it isnt human nature to 'mate' and i agree that someday we have to face it but since its coming sooner or later why not wait for the later which could save my life my reducing the risk of cancer? i can enjoy just as much with the peace of mind haha~
anyway its is me but when it someone anyone else, its your choice!
who am i to control your life and say NO you cannot DO it.
its mutual respect. you decide your life i'll hold mine responsible.
and NOPE i dont see people who's done its as sluty, cheap or dirty or whatever you put it.
i see it as something as natural as drinking a nice cuppa coffee in a nice cafe.
you have to want it to sit down at the cafe by the window and sip the cuppa....

so for the some off you who might be wondering how do i see you now that so much has happened over these 2 years, nothing different actually.
maybe i got hurt in the process by the random firing, but who can blame anyone for stray bullets? bullets dont have eyes, they will hit any target in their path, and i happen to be in the path more frequently that i would liked to. so too bad for me lar~ ;) blame bad luck
so if you are still doubtful after so long, dont doubt yourself or me anymore okay~?

haha tonight, tonight, i cant wait for tonight~~
I'm watching CABARET jealous anyone??
most EX ticket and i got another extra 2 for my parents.
HusHusH!! dont tell cos my mom thought its my dad~ heheh~~
T.T pocket really empty liao~...

and for next week, 2 tickets to NDP review.
Location of seat, GRANDSTAND.
mode of arrival, Carpark A as alighting point.
Jealous yet~ HAHA!!
and thanks to my Uncle and Aunty-in-law who got us the tickets.

July 17, 2006

class gathering 07/2006@AlohaResort

twas suppose to be today.
tonight actually.


i had the opportunity to actually forget about it and the luck to get a nasty cold that made thy feel that staying in bed snoozing is a better choice than climbing out into the dampened night air and enjoying a rather appealing evening with friends... man~ i want to be there... now...

July 16, 2006

祝你快乐, 永远!

four leaves clover are indeed rare.
so i took a bunch of clovers and place my good wishes in them and hand them to you.
may your dreams come true.

my 21 birthday

i wasnt planning anything and i wasnt expecting anything also...

so i thought simple things like celebrate with huiying,kitty n bf,janice,fabius,yinru at manhattan, pandan cake from bangawan solo, football at karaoke lounge and a couple of drinks.

and sunday, D-Day.
at home nice cake with me family~ somethihng simple and nice~ a key pass down from mom to me. all that i always wanted. thank you~

monday the crazy people starts to appear.
morning Doc's place got cake and celebration for me. so malu now everyone at the work place know...
then at night gathering with QuanQing.
wa! 2 cakes one from jie mei at Quanqing and the other's for me and JiaYan who's a july baby also~ SO NICE~~
a pressie from jiemei that has 21 marshmallows, 21layers of wrappers and a nice sweet photo of us~ thank you so much!!!
a pressie from uncle francis, a star pandant. AWWwwww.... muack!

after that geri and jon's turn.
KBox and a superduperChocolate home baked cake! BUAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

im so blessed to have you all~ LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

July 05, 2006

thoughts on the bosses

its been a while and well frankly speaking, i've only started working for less than 2 weeks and im thinking of quitting already. not beacause of anything but the old bosses have this habit of being very impatient and rather forgetful. giving me a 'why cant you do it properely' when they are the ones who pushed me away and took over the job or took the phone from me to converse. funny that i heard the job that gives you 80% and above happiness will keep you. i wonder how much this is for i'm bent on staying for at least 6 months first. because i want to lar. besides i thought the job was quite wonderful when the girl i taking over was on leave. they had to pass things for me to do and allow me to do certain things that were suppose to be my job because they are busy with something else. isnt it wonderful when i get to do things my way and do it properely.

ahh anyway i have a couple of thanks to say to alot of people later when i have the time to pop in again~
till next time i'll be trying to get as much sleep as i can for i sleep late and wake early!
830am to 530pm job. man i'm tired.