December 31, 2004

TsunamI

i felt this great urge to go any one of the countries affected by the Tsunami just to do my part for the people over there...
may it be just the mere job of being there to provide the emotional support...
or there to do my part for the people with muscle power...
or even to provide relief for the dead...
its just too much for the whole world to bear after 912( taiwan earthquake), SARS, and now the Tsunami evolved from the underwater earthquake of a scale of 8.9 .
all these seemed to be reminders of mother nature to us that we are as insignificant as when we've first existed on earth.
when compared against the brutal forces of nature, the man made destruction of 911 as well as the war in iraq seemed really puny and meaningless however meaningless they are before comparison.
why do men torture themselves endlessly...
when fighting nature has been very tough, and most of the time we are on the losing end of the war...
ever since we've started fighting...
i've changed alot these few years. i was emotionally more stable than i am now...
i cry when i see corpses lying around in the water or in clumsily dug mass graves and left in the open while the very last of their strips of pride are being torn away unforgivingly by the living and the helpless.
it pains me to see the child of many heartbroken parent's being treated this way. although i know that that is the best treatment everyone can offer at this point of time.
i hate this weakling side of me. i want to be stronger than i am ever emotionally.
i want to provide comfort and warmth to the grieving people rather add onto the number of upset members of the public.
when will i be mature enough, wise enough to behave in a way more helpful than i am now...
there are many people in need of attention however meek in the world.
i cannot attend to them all but at least i can offer my wee amount of assistance.
a little can go a long long way...

December 30, 2004

B B King

i just got to know this name on the TV... how slow and incompetent i am...self proclaim lover of music that represents freedom, improvisation and simple love for creativity, i have failed miserably...

i swear i don't know nuts about music at all and always thought that the simple act of enjoying, loving and respecting music itself is enough... i am wrong.
and i have missed out on so much of the essence in the music itself by being ignorant of the very heart of the art itself.

a televised workshop by B B King on the arts central, although i missed most of it to traveling time from school, is enough of an eye opener to me. i never knew that i loved Blues more than Jazz itself; although i don't really know what is it that i liked in the first place.

you just can't stop snapping to the music once he start playing on he's guitar. no mater if he is making it out on the spot or if he had planned for it at first.

he said he never sing when he play the guitar. he don't because he want to hear the guitar 'sing'. this is truly something not all of us would have thought of. i perception of music has been changed in that few seconds that he expressed these words. ohh and did i mention the enjoyment that flow from him every time he played no matter how brief.

i might have mastered whatever instrument that i have learnt in the many years before today if i had heard his words earlier. i wonder if it applies to our voices in singing itself.

and who can forget that young man who played his harmonica so well even though he was really excited to be playing with the legend himself to a song that has the letter E in it. he is really remarkable. for his shaggy dressing and out of the bed look he is really good. but what i admire most is his guts to ask for it. i might just go jelly.

B B King being black has that 'thang' that only the black or those that are black within themselves has. something i would like to have but im just not black enough inside to possess that. gimme time and it may just come naturally to me in 50 years.

i would like to be like him when im very old. some old woman with the "hao shuang" character. wise and black at the same time.

haha...

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December 29, 2004

...

gee...what have i done man?!
aiyah.... now i have to write in this so often it will kill me soon...

damn... sorry if your reading this and it seems really boring cos i dont have that usual creative and unique thinking that everyone around me seems to possess.

i am the most uncool and unoriginal person i have ever come across... well ask yourself and you will realise that i am *cross my heart* speaking da truth man.

today arh.... its the 28 of december 04 and many people has died in the last 2 days... stupid mother nature and her boasting of her boombastic (or whatever correct spelling) powers. tsunami used to be one of things that i would like to see and experience since young. now i hoped it has never happened...

many people dear, very dear to me has left me this very dark year...my dear granny, granduncle as well as a very respected teacher of mine mr. Lim and his newly wed wife...

life is so damn short and unpredictable i wake up everymorning thinking if i will not wake one day......

for all those who love and am loved.... and missed badly

a minute of silence