wandering thoughts 1

have you ever wondered what happen when you look at your guyfwends and then your galfwends...
what happen not in school sense, fashion sense or anything close to humour and brain matter.
RELATIONSHIP.

you see them getting on with people within the circle, out of the circle or the other circle in the many of yours.
you are very if not even happier than them for their happiness and romance.

BUT what happens when you get left out? betrayed? forgotten?
frankly i havent gotten over IT and the participants, 1 of them, maybe elated to know for it feeds its ego. the other probably orrible and will start to blame oneself again saying she worthless blah blah.
ANYWAY, its like i always believe in the probability that friends have a high chance of going further than friends someday. TRUTHfully i'd like that to happen at least once to me. in this lifetime anyway. BUT as always, i'll be the last to find out that; they are already taken, they are in the process of taking someone, they are GAY T.T , or more than often im just a coward cos of the way i look which leads to the believe that i belong to the inferior and lower life-forms on Earth.
OKAY, so i have to do something to myself. I have to be responsible for myself, i agree definitely. i am trying. i'm lazy. i focus and hope and live in the dream of the plots of romantic movies... maybe they do come true...

maybe