love is selfish & it doesn't have to be fair to anyone

well its the second week of school and today is officially the day where im gonna miss my social life and sleep. yup 9 to 5 every weekdays plus extra lessons in the evening till 9 plus 10pm.

24 hours really is not enough.

that i finally understand...

assignments are coming in and well it seems that this is only the beginning since today's only the beginning of whatever thats coming towards me at a really freakin fast pace.
3 essays so far, a project work plus presentation and assignment to complete. the dateline for all these is scattered with that latest: 30 oct 2005.
thats the date i'll be looking out for at the moment until the next best date comes by.

it seems that as boring life seems at the moment, its about to become so full of colours, i might want it to stop for the sake of not being reduced to un'ahNgee' after this semester. 3 really biology based lectures plus the usual chem math and phy, i wonder what the hell im doing here at the computer. i've yet to be able to recognise the difference between the connective tissues and now im headed for skeletal tissue. damn this is sad! the rest no complains until the next lecture pops by to say hi.

last week was hectic. yea it was although i feel that is worth it. havent been with my friends as much after we finish school. although what brought us closer wasnt the kindest thing, its was enough to know that someone out there(besides me family) needs me. its heartwarming to know that one of them has already reovered and started anew with the precious second chance.

and to you, yes you know its you, dont apologise to me anymore because i just feel that its not necessary. to put it in a bad way, its already happen and a thing of the past, so just forgo with all the apologising. seriously i dont really care what happen because love itself is selfish and well it dosent have to be fair to anyone. not even if its between you, blah blah and me. yea get it?
friends are important, yes definitely. trust is also important, yea. but it doesnt mean that it should interfere with your personal-life which includes being with the one you love and chosing what is it that you want to acomplish. being friends means to have to be able to be so close that there practically no boundaries but at the same time maintain that personal space so that you are still you!okay? if i can still face you and blah blah with no problems and yet still go to KTV this coming saturday just leave it at that lar okay? dont make me feel any pinch please cos what i had really is enough... i know its hard but then you've always pull yourself together with that mighty will of yours aint it? yea you'll be fine.

hmm... now that i wrote about this, i realise the guy in my dream this morning is actually engene buahahaha~ its cool to find myself sitting next to him again. smiling at each other in class with lots of friends and peers. white dreamy surrounding with white fluffy clouds and nice huge winds the way i like it. cool room. dry climate. nice clean fresh feeling. AAaahhhhhh make me wanna sleep and continue that dream for ever and ever.
i never though i had so many things i wanted to do and so many to complete before dateline.
with all these stuffs to complete, and a dream i want to continue...

24 hours really isnt enough.