'but this is all there is 2 it now.Sorry'
now that i have been back for say almost a week...
sadly im still as dark as ever... haiz.... okay lar not that dark but still darker than how i used to look like.
thats about the only thing new about my appearance!
i got my new phone finally. yes like ゆきふみ, its my first phone with a camera... haha its the 7260. BLACK! unfortunately i have to pay for that phone full myself geez....
anyway this has been like the little happiness that kept me going happy as i would like since im like surrounded by sad sad stuffs although the people involved dont seemed to think this way.... ahwell...
let just say that there were a few perhaps misunderstandings that led to a series of unfortunate endings....
yelloe for the sunshine that hasnt been shiniy enough and perhapes i wanted blue more cos i would like a gloomy dark wet weather to be sad in place of me~...
ahem~
NOW FOR THE REAL REASON FOR THIS ENTRY READ ON.....
im just glad that i took jonny boy's advice and told that guy, lets just say he's xj, err that i liked him. the thing is using words like blogging, it felt easier to say and tell things so everything went via SMS(gotta love this thing). i didnt expect to like tell now but somehow i saw the opportunity to tell so why not? afterall i wanted to get this over and done with as soon as possible. well i can't say it didnt went well but it didnt went perfect either. 'BEST" of all he made himself sound really desirable.(and of course me totally undesirable on the other hand)
"but this is all there is 2 it now.Sorry" (an extract word for word)
Wa biang! as if people still like him NOW? c'mon its like how long liao and you think im that chi1 qing2 meh? besides he's got a gf that he cant let go after 12 times of fen1 fen1 he2 he2. 12 freakin TIMES! what else is there? with that attitude towards me... no wonder i dont feel the sting chey! im like probably the only girl that he MISTREAT man! PUI! say i made him feel really bad after i told him im hurt. what else is there for me to feel? HAPPY ARH?! use your brain! if im not sad after that there MUST be something wrong with me and well i would have walked and admitted myself at woodbridge thats just a walk away! besides knowing him for like 8 years now, what else would i expect from him? knowing that im like the ALIEN that he treats differently haiz! so what if you say you didnt and that you are trying real hard to be a real nice guy to everyone INCLUDING me?! because i just DONT FEEL A SINGLE TINY WAVE of anything you gave basic girls i know out there, yinru, geri, janice, jennifer, jane(, still want more??) from YOU!!! so what if im like expecting that BLARDEE 'ELL comment that he might and probably will leave on the comment section. c'mon lar this is MY BLOG and NOBODY freakin knows who i'm talking about except 2 or maybe 3 person! besides xj isnt even the name that's closely associated with YOU in your group of friends!
now that i think of it. and the most he'll give me is another spoiled day like the rotten birthday of mine(mind you its my precious BIRTHDAY!) he gave me. THANK YOU HOR! BUT I DONT WANT!!! things people tell me about him that come to think of it...nah!
romantic: NO because romantic people will choose to break this kinda thing gently instead of SLAPPING me straight in the face.
nice guy: NO because he's nice to selective people. people ask him to study for A he say no time and blah blah reasons and left me studyin ALONE! lies all LIES! say all i have to do is ask and see what i get?! waste my time.
oh so gentle: NO because hes like the only guy so far whom i havent gotten over the hits and kicks from this taekwondo BLACK belt who thinks that he's begin very gentle already and that its right for him to do that to me a gril and not other girls when they hit him.
now im totally UPSET! the more i recall and think the more upset i am! maybe i should just BURN that cat that i made for his BIRTHDAY rather than pass it to anyone else, erase it from all my records; and return him, no throw away that spoiled old gift he gave me for a really fake birthday present. stupid albino racoon. come to think of it, maybe SOMEONE has been never more correct more exact! he really is a BUAYA!
@%(*#&^%@(%*$%!!!!!!!!!
Eugene is probably still the NO-MISTAKE choice now that he's in the picture. take it as eugene treat me with the outmost reapect and all that very GENTLEMAN behaviour, lovin and carin that FRIENDS usually do for each other. no wonder he's still so attractive. my bad that i grow up to like people of diff attitude. maybe i shouldn't have STARTED this whole thing. kept MUTE and let it WEAR OFF like last time and maybe things wouldn't have turned out like that. anyway he wasnt as HORRIBLE last time. maybe slimming down does change people. and, from the many examples i know, for the WORST.
with this in mind, maybe i dont really want to slim down anymore...dont want to turn nasty, do i?(christina ring any bell?)
PERIOD.
sadly im still as dark as ever... haiz.... okay lar not that dark but still darker than how i used to look like.
thats about the only thing new about my appearance!
i got my new phone finally. yes like ゆきふみ, its my first phone with a camera... haha its the 7260. BLACK! unfortunately i have to pay for that phone full myself geez....
anyway this has been like the little happiness that kept me going happy as i would like since im like surrounded by sad sad stuffs although the people involved dont seemed to think this way.... ahwell...
let just say that there were a few perhaps misunderstandings that led to a series of unfortunate endings....
yelloe for the sunshine that hasnt been shiniy enough and perhapes i wanted blue more cos i would like a gloomy dark wet weather to be sad in place of me~...
ahem~
NOW FOR THE REAL REASON FOR THIS ENTRY READ ON.....
im just glad that i took jonny boy's advice and told that guy, lets just say he's xj, err that i liked him. the thing is using words like blogging, it felt easier to say and tell things so everything went via SMS(gotta love this thing). i didnt expect to like tell now but somehow i saw the opportunity to tell so why not? afterall i wanted to get this over and done with as soon as possible. well i can't say it didnt went well but it didnt went perfect either. 'BEST" of all he made himself sound really desirable.(and of course me totally undesirable on the other hand)
"but this is all there is 2 it now.Sorry" (an extract word for word)
Wa biang! as if people still like him NOW? c'mon its like how long liao and you think im that chi1 qing2 meh? besides he's got a gf that he cant let go after 12 times of fen1 fen1 he2 he2. 12 freakin TIMES! what else is there? with that attitude towards me... no wonder i dont feel the sting chey! im like probably the only girl that he MISTREAT man! PUI! say i made him feel really bad after i told him im hurt. what else is there for me to feel? HAPPY ARH?! use your brain! if im not sad after that there MUST be something wrong with me and well i would have walked and admitted myself at woodbridge thats just a walk away! besides knowing him for like 8 years now, what else would i expect from him? knowing that im like the ALIEN that he treats differently haiz! so what if you say you didnt and that you are trying real hard to be a real nice guy to everyone INCLUDING me?! because i just DONT FEEL A SINGLE TINY WAVE of anything you gave basic girls i know out there, yinru, geri, janice, jennifer, jane(, still want more??) from YOU!!! so what if im like expecting that BLARDEE 'ELL comment that he might and probably will leave on the comment section. c'mon lar this is MY BLOG and NOBODY freakin knows who i'm talking about except 2 or maybe 3 person! besides xj isnt even the name that's closely associated with YOU in your group of friends!
now that i think of it. and the most he'll give me is another spoiled day like the rotten birthday of mine(mind you its my precious BIRTHDAY!) he gave me. THANK YOU HOR! BUT I DONT WANT!!! things people tell me about him that come to think of it...nah!
romantic: NO because romantic people will choose to break this kinda thing gently instead of SLAPPING me straight in the face.
nice guy: NO because he's nice to selective people. people ask him to study for A he say no time and blah blah reasons and left me studyin ALONE! lies all LIES! say all i have to do is ask and see what i get?! waste my time.
oh so gentle: NO because hes like the only guy so far whom i havent gotten over the hits and kicks from this taekwondo BLACK belt who thinks that he's begin very gentle already and that its right for him to do that to me a gril and not other girls when they hit him.
now im totally UPSET! the more i recall and think the more upset i am! maybe i should just BURN that cat that i made for his BIRTHDAY rather than pass it to anyone else, erase it from all my records; and return him, no throw away that spoiled old gift he gave me for a really fake birthday present. stupid albino racoon. come to think of it, maybe SOMEONE has been never more correct more exact! he really is a BUAYA!
@%(*#&^%@(%*$%!!!!!!!!!
Eugene is probably still the NO-MISTAKE choice now that he's in the picture. take it as eugene treat me with the outmost reapect and all that very GENTLEMAN behaviour, lovin and carin that FRIENDS usually do for each other. no wonder he's still so attractive. my bad that i grow up to like people of diff attitude. maybe i shouldn't have STARTED this whole thing. kept MUTE and let it WEAR OFF like last time and maybe things wouldn't have turned out like that. anyway he wasnt as HORRIBLE last time. maybe slimming down does change people. and, from the many examples i know, for the WORST.
with this in mind, maybe i dont really want to slim down anymore...dont want to turn nasty, do i?(christina ring any bell?)
...crimson blood looked so pretty you might as well let it flow forever...
PERIOD.
posted by babypanda at 19:57
3 Comments:
Ngee, there are things i need to explain. First sorry, for everything. Firstly, the way i treated u. I did it on purpose because i thought that would stop u from liking me. Ya, I caught the hints a long time ago. Sorry abt that. As as 4 the btw the both of us, i view u as one of my closest friends, hence i don't want that to change, In the sense that i never thought of us being anything else. I know i such as words like this, but all in all sorry.
Sent: 10:14:34
17 Aug 2005
wow so now someome tells me that all that doind even before i liked him are to make me NOT like him?!
i might take it as BULLSHIT if im not as mature as i might have been at this very moment. but being the more awaked me at this moment i choose to believe that all thats there are just some of the councellor's trick to pacify the raging fire. true i got more asthma attack due to that dreaded haze but whatever lar!
TRUST ME, things are never going to be the same again because there will alwys be the taboo topic and carefully advoided actions to try and not trip over the brittle lines all over me. even if everything is back to normal, i believe that things will just feel funny mentally... maybe its all my doing but for the moment i think its better to take a vacation at the countryside and forget the nightmare in the city...
again ...crimson blood looked so pretty you might as well let it flow forever...
and thats just a phrase that i liked from a fanfic-writer(geri) dosent mean i'll do anything stupid although i always believe that dying before everyone else i adore and love(note:friends and family NOT ANYONE ELSE) is best for me weak heart. but then again.... im afraid of DEATH himself.... haiz...
hey swee ngee dearest! dont get urself all bruised and torn over one guy k! We all love you so dont go and do such silly things alright?? and when u need a hug/listening ear, please please call me. *hugz* We love you for who u are!
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