alas an update

okay im sorry for not updating for so long but then i cant help it...
first of all i was in a blurr state until like this week..
since the allergy and busy week then, i was like lost in dunno-where
i'm starting to feel real dizzy sitting down in front of the computer... but what to do i want to finish what i started... haiz

i still get these patched of swell from time to time.
very itchy and painful and well they are red...
some say its the aftermath of the allergy reaction and well its not improving yet...
its like a itch that comes on and off and i did some stupid things like scratch until it bled a while ago...
well as usual my brother scolded me for my insanity and my mother just sigh in disbelief. my father couldnt believe it.
yes its that bad and well i hve been in a bad bad shape since then...
lots of asthma attack, dizzy spell and an appetite that goes haywire all the time.
i was like so hungry this morning and suddenly i dont feel like eating at all...
even the sight of food makes me ill.

actually i dont know what to update, im like doing the same old things all the time and well everyone's in university now since school has started and im still stoning, rotting.
suppose to have a slackers club outing also but damn my time-table... sorry gals and yea i miss you gals~
im sorry that i didnt get to call geri and check on her about her bunnies cos i didnt read her entries until today...
im glad that i made jon's b'dae a lil better with the 16 min call as he claimed and oh my goodness... its gonna cost but what the heck! this day comes like once a year!
geri and xk are so much closer now and i feel kinda lonely. the effects of going to a different school and studying the "same(?)" subject... damn this sucked
her darling is going to like celebrate her birthday and well im not even sure if i can make it... xk sounded pissed although i really cant help it funny why he so protective of everyone and not me... im kinda JEALOUS but whatever lar~
my reason for not being there is beause LTC ends on that day of the party and well... we are only going to return to civilisation that night... probably like 9pm...

i have this urge to just call my first crush from time to time, why not someone like you-know-who or even YC?
well i dont know really... but the last time i called him and said that i just want to hear his voice, PHEW! he treated it as a joke.
but really what diff will it make that now i have told him i liked him so much that it hurts
time do heal cos i dont feel that way now cos i know its impossible... maybe its the aging and the maturity (but what mature mind do i have? its still as naive as ever!)
but what is impossible? anything could happen you know... thats what everyone says but its NOT happening guys~
i did do things like fantasise being with the people i liked but~ it felt kinda funny, weird actually.

geri i was thinking if we are mature enough to like talk/tell everything to HIM cos it just felt like a great stone still stuck there... i mean i felt so much better like mission accomplished when i told eugene what i felt for him last time... maybe its time i spill? jon, your opinion??

well my head is treatening to spin out of control now and im like typing wrong every one or two words... argh.... oh yea and i have this urge to find a guess what? boyfriend! HAHA!
no im NOT joking okay~