call me a fool...

wise men will call me a fool if they ever get to know of me.

pretending to be wise when im really foolish all over.

i dont even know why im doing things the way i do them now.

i must be either really dumb or utterly impossible because even the wise men are baffled at my stupidity.

i dont even know anything anymore.

i dont even know myself now.

i never consider myself wise anyway.

i wonder why i torture my soul when i know im reaching the breaking limit.

i wonder why i always offer that empty and fake warmth to the hurt.

i wonder why i allow people to hurt me and not react to the pain.

i wonder why i still sit by the roadside and remain the passer by A.

i wonder why i hide in the shadow and linger there until someone needs me.

i wonder why i linger in the dark and pine for the light.

i wonder why i fear yet yearn love because it hurts before it comes.

i wonder why i yearn for love and yet refuse to let it near.

i wonder why i feel tired instead of disappointment, saddness or even angst.

i wonder why i wrote this at this time instead of sleeping.

i wonder why i didnt cancel everything tomorrow to spend the day by the sea.

i wonder why i didnt cry when it should feel better to weep and sob.

i wonder why i didnt say l'amour until its too late.

i wonder why i am forcing myself to put something on my blog.

i wonder why i am playing and being nice when i can be really nasty.

i wonder why i cant think of anything anymore...

i wonder why i...........