asking for love

how do you ask for love when you dont love in the first place?

sometimes i just dont understand how MCPs work down beneath... you've got what you want. its time to let go. dont expect me to change my perspective and kneel to the absolute disgrace of womenkind because i will absolutely not.



sometimes its easy to forget that people are ultimately human.
flesh and blood with lots of pain and well emotions too...
i've forgotten that the old man is human afterall beyond the fascade of ?polygamy
okay maybe its wife plus mistress.
and lets put the damn excitement of fooling around while tearing your loved ones apart aside. u are human too..

okay so i am sorry that overlooked the fact that you needed love and affection too.
but you pushed us away first! u let the woman loose into our lives and mashed us up so terribly that everytime she drifted past, the wounds tear apart and starts bleeding again.

its been 5 years since my dear granny passed away.
and truthfully, i didnt know the true meaning of 'its too late' until now.
there are so many things i wanted to learn from her. hugs that i would never have again. her perfume, her smile, her signature laughter... HA~ HA~ HA~
i wanted to learn how to cook from her, sit in her ride and go for a spin.
i can still remember how we affectionately tell people "my grandmother on skates".
her smile, her poise, her style and taste are definitely beyond all those 'tai tai' living around her. its like high class desperate housewives versus an artist! LOL

supper at amara hotel. ice-creams, noodles, rice, westerns etc etc etc... so long we are happy. money's not a problem.. yeah money is something that leaves most of ur worries behind. worries, problems, and the blahs that money can solve.

except this. THE WOMAN. ya, in 'french' its DA BITCH.
although im still ehh... relatively new in this world, ive met my share of bitches.
not the regular ones but the mean, horrible and really wholesome ones.
they give you hell for breakfast, crap for tea and lots of rubbish for dinner.
supper? nah~ i'll pass.

yup she gave me expired food since i was a child. no kidding!
maso lots of hampers for herself for god knows what reason since she always keeps them until they are dusty and pass their comsumption date where she'll then bring and WOW share with the gals in the office.
used to called her 手指票 cos everything she say good so long its from you. why? cos its blardee damn free and she can grab as much as she like cos u wont say a thing since she's the woman right? and i need my job!
and theres the 我不知 in cantonese she always use. she cant even send a fax for goodness sakes!so everything she dont know, we the OL complete for her lor...
the list goes on and on and on....
and her hall of fame: she food poisoned me on the first CNY eve dinner. WOW~

and now you want us to accept her?
hello~?! 尸骨未寒 heard of it?
well~ this old man brought her into the house even before she DIED!
needless to say this woman came to the house on the morning when my dear granny passed away. thinking of this still makes my blood boil.
she came hurried, conceal her joy behind lots of crocodile tears.
"im so sorry" she cried, her face dry as desert, her smile she cant hide.
MY GOD! my grandma's still lying on the bed, and the doc hasnt even arrived to pronounce her dead!!! legally, she's still DAMN BLARDEE ALIVE!!

and even before my grandmother's wake done and her body cremated? where's this old man? well resting in the house of this woman. i dont even want to guess what they did together.

my grandmother's body hasnt cooled, the ashes still warm, and this is what U the man of the house did. to your kids, your grandkids.
how blardee fuck do you expect us to respect u anymore?!

u need love. we tried but for hell trust us, we just cannt stand the sight of U and the woman in the same house. we gave u love BUT u pushed us away, trusting only the woman.
HOW FUCKING WELL can this woman take care of you when at the doctor, she's "i dont know, i dont know" to every stupid quesstion that we ask?! even the doctor cannot believe she lives with you!
she gives you soda and biscuits for lunch!! WAH~ fuck man! we give u this for lunch and we'l probably die cos u MCP cannot take not having HOT HOMECOOKED FOOD FOR ANY OF UR BLARDEE MEAL! what the HELL?!

and u expect us to ask u how's your health every damn day?! c'mon la~ if you are not well tell us! we cant be calling you every fucking day just to make sure u feel loved and cared for.

we are not that DAMN FREE to stroke your ego every now and then! we've got our lives and families you know?! u got that woman! leave us alone and go tour round de world la~!! u cant bring that FAT account of yours to hell when u die anyway. so why not treat us and urself to some goodness while u can?? hmm?

you should be glad that thoughts of taking you out for lunch did actually pass thought the minds of us grandkids... but the thought of having that glutton there and having to treat her just plain SUCKS! so its plan aborted everytime.
boh bian....

we used to feel guilty asking JimPo out for meals, having a great time with her. now we are free! cos we dont owe u a living now that the sluts responsible for you!

you know? there are days when naming her slut, bitch, and anything horried seemed appropriate, but we realise its an inslut to them if she were listed and branded with these words. even 'the thing' is an insult to the thing...

i just dont understand. 出的了厅堂进的了厨房。this woman fits NEITHER. she cant cook, and she disgraces us in public. have u had the time of explaining why your grandpa's girlfriend behaves like this and like that and eats like a glutton? or why is she dressed like this for a dinner? yu[ i have and had and probably will still get lots of these questions coming... sigh....



enough of my diarrhoea....
i wanted to say, i could show you more care and concern.
WHEN i see you, and when circumstances really call for the need to.
heck! im not that important in ur list anyway~

as for that woman, dont expect any less from us.
she's still not going to get less from us nor any better treatment or respect.
please la... having dinner on the same table as her is already the LIMIT!

who says i dont care about people? who says i dont care about their feelings?
now im worried how my cousin's gonna take it... she was really upset when she found out about this woman already.... and now to hear this....