...scream out loud just once..?
its times like this when i feel helpless and really down to the deepest pits; when everyone (or rather most of the everyone) who tells me that i can call them when i need them ignores me due to alot of excuses... yea excuses are excuses and im still veri upset and rather its affecting me whenever im alone or with my family...
its like im a two face person who's always happy in front of everyone else and i turn nasty and moody in front of family... take today... once i reach home and went for a dinner with me parents, i was sulking throughout till even now... and i flare up at any little thing that they do which upsets me... i dont want to be such a meanie...
i know it but i cant help it... its not like i enjoy spoiling the supposedly happy outing... i want to happy too! but i just cant find that 'thang'...
even the song "you are the sunshine of my life" fail to bring me up again...
i attribute this to the fact that i did not loss my wallet.
Instead it was STOLEN from me...T.T oh my gawd was the reaction, and then this cant be really happening...
i saw this advertisement just now. " have you ever felt caught in the rapid change in life and all you need was to scream out loud just once?"
yea this is one of the times that i felt like going to the sea to just scream out into the sea and sit there to stone until i feel better or better still get over it.
but guess its not happening cos im retreating into my shell again...
and yea i think im shutting myself up again... less outing, less contact, less risk...
i can feel myself backing back into the shell of mine... to protect me and my darlings in my own shell...
no contact no risk. time to go back into my shell.
a reply or rather a comment to a friend's blog
"happy new year indeed...
and yes i havent spent money or rather i dont have money to spend cos someone in school STOLE my wallet in bright daylight... T.T
how... i beri beri sad leh... and i still cannot get over it!
and as you said... everyone's cooped up with all these 'necessities' that they are still ignoring my call for a little comfort even when i take the pain to come online when im totally not in the mood to... sigh... how how? aiyah... T.T
ahNgee "
its like im a two face person who's always happy in front of everyone else and i turn nasty and moody in front of family... take today... once i reach home and went for a dinner with me parents, i was sulking throughout till even now... and i flare up at any little thing that they do which upsets me... i dont want to be such a meanie...
i know it but i cant help it... its not like i enjoy spoiling the supposedly happy outing... i want to happy too! but i just cant find that 'thang'...
even the song "you are the sunshine of my life" fail to bring me up again...
i attribute this to the fact that i did not loss my wallet.
Instead it was STOLEN from me...T.T oh my gawd was the reaction, and then this cant be really happening...
i saw this advertisement just now. " have you ever felt caught in the rapid change in life and all you need was to scream out loud just once?"
yea this is one of the times that i felt like going to the sea to just scream out into the sea and sit there to stone until i feel better or better still get over it.
but guess its not happening cos im retreating into my shell again...
and yea i think im shutting myself up again... less outing, less contact, less risk...
i can feel myself backing back into the shell of mine... to protect me and my darlings in my own shell...
no contact no risk. time to go back into my shell.
a reply or rather a comment to a friend's blog
"happy new year indeed...
and yes i havent spent money or rather i dont have money to spend cos someone in school STOLE my wallet in bright daylight... T.T
how... i beri beri sad leh... and i still cannot get over it!
and as you said... everyone's cooped up with all these 'necessities' that they are still ignoring my call for a little comfort even when i take the pain to come online when im totally not in the mood to... sigh... how how? aiyah... T.T
ahNgee "
posted by babypanda at 00:37
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