confidence growth

maybe its the culture and attitude difference, maybe its just me in a new environment.

somehow, I feel that I am a more confident person now.
confidence in terms of personality. not the fake fronts which I always put up when faced with a presentation, confrontation or even for performances.

I always have this thing about how I look and my figure.
like DUR! I am like flabby and seriously not a looker totally~ and its somewhat funny that in sg, people like me arent granted the right to dress up and try to be pretty. u would just get so much eye rolling and coaxing to dress down and get back into the background!
but over here, irregardless of how u are shaped or looks like, it is ok to dress up in whatever u feel like and wants to.
in fact they dont see why u cant dress up at all!

vainity aside, theres the confidence as a person.
over here i am asked to SPEAK UP! they say i speak too softly cos i lack the confidence in myself and that i am capable and just as good as anyone else here.
seriously, i realise that a long time ago, but people just ignore me even if i start to shout in sg.
here, they actually ask u to have your say. its like when u try to get into a conversation, and u cant really get into it, they would come back and ask you what was it u wanted to say and they dont take 'nothing' as an excuse to skip.

even in choir, honey drums, canoe, scuba, H2O polo etc.... I am not singled out cos if how i look. in fact, they treat me like everyone else. no exceptions. U have to swim as hard and as fast...unfit is not an excuse~
everyone gets a chance at things. they dont say sorry, u too big cant find something for u. its more of hmm... lets get a bigger one for you, cos u HAVE to try it out!!!
in sg, it would be like, sorry we cant help you.

but then again, they dont take rubbish for weakness. unless u really cant do it and theyve seen ur effort, they will push you and get the response they need. so not time for lack of confidence and seriously, the confidence overflow of people here in themselves just fills you and takes over~

i think im gonna like it here for awhile~ so long im still a student and enjoying campus life~

scientific blabbing

ive started, okay it a little too late to say start, on my dissertation paper
its all about endometriosis and I almost know too well the effects of this mysterious condition on women.
ive seem really strong and cheerful ladies reduce themselves to tears during checkups because of the discomfort and pain that it brings...and the countless ladies out there who have monthly drastic pain that warrants a MC all probably have some form of endometriosis.
the only problem: endometriosis diagnosis for sure is via laparoscopy which is a day surgery.....:(
so most docs prefer to treat symptoms and ignore unless it gives problems like infertility or cysts since it is benign.
okay maybe i should put it the other way. patients prefer less invasive measures for minor stuffs that isnt life threatening. ah thats better.
and this simple yet mostly unknown condition is driving me nuts now.....!? tsk tsk

anyways... i am hooked on this book called "Bad Science" by Ben Goldacre.
interesting how common sensical stuffs that I have been rambling on at home is all in this book, and wait~ theres more!!! so ive been wise to stay clear of all those rubbish and save my money on other enjoyments~ ha!
although i do believe in TCM, and other stuffs not from the traditional 'Western' medicine area, there are certain hocus pocus still all out there waiting to catch its prey and it would seriously do u well to use some brain before jumping into anything~ Yeah u feel good....have u heard of placebo effect?? tsk

oh... not forgetting that ive got a wiki on Post natal syndrome thats really bugging me plus something interesting Tourette Syndrome for presentation~ ha... thats gonna be fun.
but DAMN 2/3 are O&G related~ I just love my job~ ha!!!

first entry from UK (a very belated entry)

its been a roller coster ride since i arrived barely more than 1 month ago on 20sept2009.

I reached Bradford without my baggage and was stranded in a place where i didnt know where to get food and even more so, the shops were closed on sunday...

now that i am sorta settled down, i am enjoying my first ice-cream of B&J's Phish Food icecream in the midst of trying very hard to concentrate and have a go at the dissertation... :(

I am still having a hard time trying to call KLM for the documents which i needed desperately to claim my insurace! wah biang..... really sianded....

and of course alot has happened during this mere few days as compared to the many to come.
ive already visited 5 places, i think, so far.
ive gone through and got myself into an auditioned choir Bradford Singers and I am also singing with Bradford Chorale.
i may be singing with the Jazz Band and probably do a gig with the Honey Drums~ haha
ive just had my first performance at St Georges Halls for Rememberance Festival yesterday, I had my first Halloween Party too~
ive had 2 meals of treat from my friends and I had done a little party plus thankgiving with a flatemate of mine for almost 20 guests!
ive finally swam in the pool here which is 1/4 the size of the usual singapore pools and did that with the water polo team which gave ma an ache throughout the prac, after that in the shower and even more so in the days after that~ i almost couldnt climb outta the pool! haa......

Next destination: Liverpool

to dos: watch TrueLoveNeverDies in London
watch a Finals of the Premier League (Pray i can do it at ManU~)
travel on the EuroStar~
blah blah blah......

and theres always my dissertation nagging at the back of my head and theres 2 group works, a wiki on post-natal syndrome and a presentation on Tourette Syndrome...

tsk tsk.....