November 10, 2009

confidence growth

maybe its the culture and attitude difference, maybe its just me in a new environment.

somehow, I feel that I am a more confident person now.
confidence in terms of personality. not the fake fronts which I always put up when faced with a presentation, confrontation or even for performances.

I always have this thing about how I look and my figure.
like DUR! I am like flabby and seriously not a looker totally~ and its somewhat funny that in sg, people like me arent granted the right to dress up and try to be pretty. u would just get so much eye rolling and coaxing to dress down and get back into the background!
but over here, irregardless of how u are shaped or looks like, it is ok to dress up in whatever u feel like and wants to.
in fact they dont see why u cant dress up at all!

vainity aside, theres the confidence as a person.
over here i am asked to SPEAK UP! they say i speak too softly cos i lack the confidence in myself and that i am capable and just as good as anyone else here.
seriously, i realise that a long time ago, but people just ignore me even if i start to shout in sg.
here, they actually ask u to have your say. its like when u try to get into a conversation, and u cant really get into it, they would come back and ask you what was it u wanted to say and they dont take 'nothing' as an excuse to skip.

even in choir, honey drums, canoe, scuba, H2O polo etc.... I am not singled out cos if how i look. in fact, they treat me like everyone else. no exceptions. U have to swim as hard and as fast...unfit is not an excuse~
everyone gets a chance at things. they dont say sorry, u too big cant find something for u. its more of hmm... lets get a bigger one for you, cos u HAVE to try it out!!!
in sg, it would be like, sorry we cant help you.

but then again, they dont take rubbish for weakness. unless u really cant do it and theyve seen ur effort, they will push you and get the response they need. so not time for lack of confidence and seriously, the confidence overflow of people here in themselves just fills you and takes over~

i think im gonna like it here for awhile~ so long im still a student and enjoying campus life~

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5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey. really glad that u are enjoying ur time in UK! (:

1:24 AM  
Blogger mayu said...

hi, amelia here(from zhss). ^^ i've been following ur updates on facebook and ur blog. I guess coz i'm in Japan now i enjoy reading your overseas life. XD and ur this entry really make me see the diff between asian and western culture. Here in Japan, ppl who are not so pretty or slim get 'weird' looks when they dress up. I keep encouraging some of my classmates to dress up but they rather blend into the background...And when they don't speak up, no one cares either. Itz really kind of bad that they don't give themselves and each other a chance. >_< .

Anyway, looking forward to more of ur updates!! XD

10:17 AM  
Blogger Pro Consumer said...

Very cool that you are in the UK. Enjoy and have fun! Growing up from public education I too am similar in how I am too timid and don't speak up. Could it be the culture that america is bringing up?

3:44 AM  
Blogger babypanda said...

Holy @Mayu I didnt know you were following this blog.
I hope you've been well!

2:15 PM  
Blogger babypanda said...

@Pro Consumer
thanks for following this blog. Sorry life got the better of me and I disappeared. haaha
Could the speak up culture be something that the virtual world is encouraging? speaking hiding behind your alias might be easier since its not 'you' and can be a profile that's deleted if its gets much. perhaps...

2:17 PM  

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