When you are too lazy to blog...

but there's so much running in the brain, and you want so much to remember and pen it down somewhere...

it started when I was reading some posts from friends who love reading each other's blog and some that are just poetic beings with pretty pictures and flowing words.

it started when I had a more-busy-than-usual life for a while. I guess the people you meet, the things you do, the memories that you make with them are what itches me to blog.

I do not keep a diary, unlike my boss who still does. it was a moment of revelation when I was asked to do this mid to long term planning in the format of a temple (forgot its name) during one of the training session and it struck me that there are so many things waiting for me and I let it slip because I procrastinate chronically. there are so many things running through my mind and I cannot wrap my head around them because I did not pen them down. seems like the mind needs to see visuals sometimes to make it work.

right back to main reason i decided to sit down and blog today.

11June

the day where I had planned to sent Stiney off on her new journey in Kiwiland.

I remembered how it felt for me when I had friends there to send me off as well. being the socially awkward me, it was really nice and touching to see them there.

of all days, Uncle C had to arrange a minuscule gathering which I felt complied to attend because he's an important friend and a difficult person to book (an appointment with).

So I accepted the gathering and prepared them that I will be LATE. very late.

at 530pm, I left office in a rush. scramble for taxi in my black overall (because its the 2nd day of period and it was not a fun day to have a busy schedule...) glad that Stiney's flight was delayed 

610pm, I reached the airport. could be earlier but the cab driver was so slow.... Stine left for T3 (I think) so I took the change to freshen up and see if I can grab a card to write something for her because I hate saying goodbyes.

630pm, Stiney came back to T1, and I met her and her entourage at the departure gate. Took an un-glam picture with her (I mean me as the totally un-glam one). a few more for her family and off she goes.

655pm, Stiney disappear among the crowd and I part with her family at the airport. I headed for T3 to grab the train and texted Uncle C's group chat that I am leaving the airport now. I barely reached the tram for T3 when I saw the message I thought I'd never see. Mr A offered to pick me up on his way to the same gathering. omg omg omg I am hyperventilating. am I blushing of smiling like a druggie? why are the people around me judging?! dont judge okay? I've been dreaming of this for a while already hor!

703pm, I reached T3. accepted the offer in the Tram and smiled like an idiot. waking up to realise oh.... I should tell him where I am right? T3 Departure Row 8 ok? and his reply: ok. I am over the moon. how I start debating with myself, wait inside? wait outside, how long is he gonna take? cos I know Ubi is not exactly on the way and I dont want him to wait for me at the drop off point.

708pm, I went to the washroom deciding he will need at least 15min to get here. freshen up again (for what I dont know.... maybe to smell nicer and look more human) tried to tame the hair and lip-stick (although men say they dont notice such things,I do it anyway cos I am vain) sat back at the benches in the airport and started staring at whatsapp, reading the flurry of messages before Stine disappear into the sky.

the evening when waiting was a sweet sweet thing to do.

715pm, Reaching in 1 min. omg I didnt see this come in?! *jumped off the seat and ran outside* no car?! oh crap! did I miss him? checks whatsapp. ah CHEY! its not even pass 1 min after he sent it. now I panic. I dont remember what car he drove, what if more than 1 car appear and i went to the wrong one?

soon he arrives, oh black car, I remember that. heart flutters.

car zooms in, I get in, nice air-con, thank goodness, cos it was hot outside.

I try to slip in as smoothly as possible, say hi as not-awkward as possible.

hmm... the car looks unfamiliar. changed car already? oh same car, until 2016. right. gotta remember this.

Had to remind myself not to stare. but he looks so charming in the white long sleeved shirt so comfortable in his driver seat. if only his mine. haha he's wearing white shirt again......

I felt so comfortable beside him, I felt sleepy, thank goodness for the too cold aircon I manage to stay awake. 

chit chat was really nice on the way there and i had to slap myself when we were entering the carpark. i cant take the cold and asked him if he likes the cold? ALAMAK gurl wat u sayin?! 5 more min only!!!!! complain? u are stupiak or what? sigh....

Dinner was nice, Ms J was as cute as ever and dancing again, Uncle C daddy date around mid July, lucky we met now. drinks with the 2 boys after that and we went home in different directions. on the bus home, i was still dreaming about the ride from the airport. such fuzzy feeling inside. 

its been what? almost 8 years and I am so not over him yet.

he just makes me fall deeper when I thought I climbed out of it. 

I am so rubbish at this.

I am still feeling the high from the ride. let me stay here for a little while more....

old times

it all started with 1 picture from primary6 at camp christine.


and people ive missed for the past 12 years came flooding in to comment in facebook.
my goodness~!!! some of them have changed so much I would NOT recognise them on the streets!
and we are as bad ass as we were 13 years ago~ good thing ehh?!

and so as i was packing up my area this morning, i found my file of all the pictures from ZHSS and NYJC. (hmm.... i wonder where the pics for chongfu has gone.....)
and well, i couldnt resist adding them to the collection.
I was laughing so hard looking through those pictures seeing how much we've all changed in such a short time!
aiya.....i was MUCH thinner.... damn.....

i remember the first time i took a leading position, the natural high on stage with guzheng troupe.
PB in ZHSS that offered me a chance to really crawl outta my shell and really work my arse off, the days in school decorating the building and stuffs, duties, sports day, canteen and bookshop, PB room, detention committee ha...., caligraphy class, etc etc etc.....

NYJC that had its highs and very lows.....
OCIP in Thailand(changmai) and LTCs

i miss those days...

Beautifully Imperfect

A Yasmin Ahmad film, from thinkfamily.sg
i saw this on TVmobile the day I shut the door to the clinic for the last time, i was touched.
It reminded me how imperfections irritating at first became part of our lives, and how we grew to take them for granted. That was when i cant wait to get home for dinner. To try and meet my dad at the lifts and the hear the squeal of my sister, the drone of my brother's video game while my mom sizzles the last dish in the kitchen.

I realise, then, i miss my job...

dreaming part 2

this time its not a dream anymore!
WAH!! wish came true. finally!
and its the LAST DAMN TIME that i'll probably be squatting at he's school to cramp before the exams.

we've always stayed near the school of law or near the dance studios, up around the TCC area just by the turn of the road behind or at the crowded area near the OCBC bank. ive been by the gym a couple of times. okay literally at the entrance of the gym, hidden from the world out there... and for some reason, uncle decides to study at the end of the corridor. i almost ditched him for the national library cos this term i was so desperate before the exams. i've got absolutelty NOTHING in my brain to even rattle for the papers. and of all papers its my 'sister's' paper!! biang how can i even allow myself to score a C leh?? and so the dumb queen decides to lose her voice to this sexy voice which we all loved in the sec days~ the hoarse sexy voice~ OOoo.... and then it happened. i thought i was dreaming.

I stared HARD. he looks back awkward with the OS of what'cha lookin at??
it was funny. then i realise i got he's hp number.
LOL and i called as soon as he left my view of sight.
LOL! its him! god i miss that voice, the familarity so subtly foriegn after all these years... thank goodness for facebook for i found u lol.....

but well~ i dont really remember anything after that.
i lost my absolute resolve to study anyway. my brain was soo cooked, so tired and well... i was burning up too...

im well now after it got so bad i couldnt sleep at night cos i was coughing away.. so i decided its time to see my dear friend our friendly GP to get my yearly dose of yucky pills and syrups....eww.... now im sleeping like a baby. cant hear the phone ring, cant hear the surrounding. just plain dreamless sleep that last forever until i wake up.. yup. eat shit sleep. thats about it now.
and i still havent gotten my voice back..... i want to go KTV lei....

dreaming

i like dreams.

they are like these little moments which you escaped into a world of your own.
you experience things which may never happen, your most wanted, most feared and sometimes dreams even gives me little dose of surprises.

and this little episode last night was something really special.
LCH. lol someone special but he doesnt know it.
used to call him 'birdman' cos he pisses me off so very often.
im never good enough at anything and well i never really won any spat with him during those years anyway...
until someone wrote something ridiculous on my table that morning.
okay i still find it ridiculous now cos clearly its a prank on me.
but if that prank started from something real and true, i say im really glad.
but damn~ why u never told me sia?!

lol... im thinking of leaving. going somewhere far. like hitting a restart button to start almost everything anew.
and as always, theres the 'would i be missed' thing. its like those morbid questions which i am curious to know. and so i've been thinking of gatherings, meetings with friends and people i missed. Singapore is so darn small but its like people somehow just cant see each other.
ive been to where LCH should be at more than a couple of times. and of these times ive always been at a rather open area. but never meet. damn i dont even know he's there in the first place!

i always have a soft spot for music, get-togethers, fun and laughter.
and this episode was at a little gathering by the pool. food friends and lots of hahas.
and to get to the point, he was there, i dunno y.
he looked like him den (cos he look real different now and i dont really appreciate the new style he's got....oops....) he stood up and sang something familiar, (i lost that song...T.T......) walked round the rectangular table, turned 2 corners and ended up behind me.
for some reason i knew he was coming towards me (its me dream anyway) and i was already hiding my face behind some files ive got with me. i knew i was grinning like Garfield does and well.... he took my hand and sat with me. (thats to damn AA lo!) and before i know it, we are walking in a park or garden with waterfalls, fences with vines, little pathway... (okay flowers dat bloom in de night?! and i know this: huge winds cos its really windy this morning, dats y i can feel the wind....) walking in silent side by side... den the phone ring.....

alamak! my phone ring!!! i wanted to ignore it but.... ha~ still have to come back to real life ma....

anyway... being a fan of romantic events... i am a bit funny when it comes to this.
i think:
walking beside each other in silent
throwing flirts across a packed room while engaging someone else
enjoying the breeze by the sea
giving him absolute freedom, feign blurrness, and knowing that he'll always be back
knowing that he'll remember you, smile when he sees you after years of absence
knowing that i'll remember and think of him

but these never happen... only backstab me nia.
okay very long winded liao...

Innocent Smile

You have an Innocent Smile
Sweet and naïve, you have a smile that is full of genuine happiness. You have a pure heart and when you smile, you mean it and everyone around you knows you do.
People are attracted to your sweetness and sincerity, and find your company refreshing and enjoyable. With your open and non-judgmental smile and personality, you will often find people confiding in you.


LOL this has come at a really "not-so-right' time~

the ultimate prize

i was out~ amk hub.
i was walking staring and contemplating if i should try the claw vending machine.
i was staring at the plush toys when i felt this soft tug at my jeans.
I stood there in awe as the ultimate prize climbed out of the machine at my feet...

yup~ i dunno whose kid this is but he tried to climb in again~ LOL!!

serendipity... in a bag

what are the chances?
1 seat left on the upper deck of 111
serendipity....