February 13, 2005

definition of a friend

hmm.... what is the definition of friend??
anyone wanna try...

i dont even want to think of the definition for im sure that i dont fulfill alot of the few requirement... ha ha sad but true lar!

and what does a huge group of friends define as?
hmm.... that i dont know too...

i was really over the limit when i was in secondary school... yea its true and i did actually mistreat many of my friends then...
maybe i was naive and didnt know what friends really mean actually but although its a little too late, i do regret losing contact with many of them...
i found a couple of them in friendster which i admit that i neglected it even until now...
im trying im trying but maybe not well enough...
jasmine and shiyi sort of err.... ignore me lol
maybe i was really cruel or just plain ignorant and didnt manage to keep in contact at all.... lol

then someone has to come and tell me that i neglect alot of my friends...
that i didnt meet them often enough or actually contact them enough...
the truth is im just too lazy as what i gathered
but to me i want to really make sure i can treat my current small but close group of buddies well enough then make sure i make everyone happy but the relationship is really shallow...
i got my reasons but yea its bad... really bad....

i have a humongous group of friendssssssss
however they are sort of really many group in all...
theres

~consonance
~nyjc
~02S7C
~zhonghua prefects
~zhonghua SS
~chongfu PS


out of these groups the ones that i neglected most is actually my primary school
although theres another group in my secondary school that dumped me...lol..

i missed them alot really.... although i should me happy that i still have friends to accompany me

i want to be friends to everybody but its really hard to me you know.
the committment and responsibility and the usual classification of inportance to many of them.

you know i really fear that im more important than your other friend thing
as well as the im your best if best friends...
not that im not flattered but im scared that im not gonna perform well enough to your standard
my parents are another thing
i am like pressured by them to not fulfill much of my friends gathering or simple meetings because they will just keep screaming and nagging and complain that you dont care about home and blah blah~
im not sure how many of you get this but i get it all the time and its killing me.

i was like going out with my parents for a consecutive 3 days which im okay with.
BUT
on the 4 day when my friends called me for a gathering my parents actually say ' why do you have so many outings everyday?! cant you just stay home and help instead of playing all day, everyday, all the time?!'
wth?! i was working like a slave for ya and you say i've been playing all day?
what does the 3 day outing with them account to?
what does the whole week stay at home and help goes to?
it becomes i play and go out all week to meet my friends, enjoy my life while they slave, ignore family and let them suffer in silence?!
ridiculous!

ah well.... it may take me time to actually fullfill all my friends requirement and satisfy them in a more matured manner although its gonna take me a real while...
im the meantime if you are reading this and realise that im your long lost friend~
feel free to leave a message regarding this post and i'll be glad to get back to you and begin from where we left off from...

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